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December, 2011

  1. So, what do you do?

    December 27, 2011 by June:Wow

    A lot of people ask me that question. And i’m guilty of asking the same of others. At this point, you must know two things: 1) I don’t really have an answer to that question, and 2) I don’t know why I ask other people what they do, because most times I have found that it has no bearing on their character. It’s not something i’m proud of, and i’m trying hard to mend my ways.

    I do lots of things.

    This year, I did a lot of corporate writing, worked with UNICEF as a consultant, started a little events company, and taught sex ed to kids living on plantations. I worked with various companies, NGOs and individuals to bring different ideas to fruition, some of which (I sincerely hope) helped make a difference to people in need. Next year, I hope i’ll be doing other things. So when people ask me what I do, I always say i’m a “writer”, because it’s the most honest answer I can give in the shortest time. If you think about it, all the stuff I do requires some writing at some point (from emails, to reports, to articles, to scribbling my name on a contest form hoping to win a free trip to Honolulu etc.)

    But this usually invites more questions, such as: “What do you write about?”, “Who do you write for?”, and the inevitable, “Are you a blogger?”.

    [By the way, the standard answers to those questions are: 'Nonsense', 'Anyone who will pay me', and 'NO'.]

    bmf

    I think I spent quite a bit of time being bothered by not knowing what defined me, but i’m over it now.

    People work their whole lives so that they can have business cards that spell out their role in society. I have known people who got angry with bosses who didn’t provide them with name cards. Maybe it’s a social tool, as i’ve noticed how people give out name cards as if it’s going out of fashion.

    Back when I was doing my pupillage in a big corporate law firm, the other pupils would look forward to the end of pupillage because it meant having their own 8′ x 8′ office with their name in gold letters on the door, and name cards that told the world they were doing something important. As you progressed in the firm, you were upgraded to bigger rooms; and when you made partner, you got a room with windows or some sort of view, depending on seniority.

    I remember naively asking my boss at the time why people worked hard so that they could be enslaved in a box for the rest of their lives. Working 10 years to get your own parking space and a room with a view just didn’t make sense to me. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t last very long in the corporate world.

    Personally, I prefer to look into someone’s eyes, smile, and say “Hello, I’m June” before any exchange of name cards. It’s a warmer way, brings people closer, and makes them want to call you more. It also took a while for me to buy into the whole name-card-for-business idea, but I do have some now. They were designed by the gorgeous Lisa Zainuddin of Oxoloco <— click the link to check ‘em out!

    Oliver’s philosophy
    When faced with the question “What do you do for a living?” My good friend Oliver used to answer, “I skate, draw, and play for a living. And to make money I do other things.”

    Similarly, I laugh, play, and fall in love every day. People will snigger and demand a “serious answer” when I tell them that, but I really don’t feel like I have a JOB because I really enjoy what I do. It doesn’t feel like work when you love what you do and have the freedom to do it from anywhere. I also do different things all the time, so it’s never dull. And as a result of the flexibility, I have more time to spend with friends and family, building strong bonds that money can’t buy. So, took me a while to explain, but that’s what I do, and I love it :)

     

    I won’t tell you that the world matters nothing, or the world’s voice, or the voice of society. They matter a good deal. They matter far too much. But there are moments when one has to choose between living one’s own life, fully, entirely, completely—or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands. You have that moment now. Choose!
    ― Oscar Wilde


  2. The Naked Truth About The Naked Turtle

    December 2, 2011 by June:Wow

    If there’s one thing I absolutely cannot stand, it’s unscrupulous employers.

    Freelancers have got it bad

    The good companies aside (and i’m glad there are still some), it’s no secret that freelancers get screwed over day after day. Work is expected to be delivered on time, but payment is made whenever the client feels like it, no matter how much paperwork you prepare to compel them to pay you on time. This is especially the case with big corporations with a “finance department”. If you’ve ever had to deal with them, you’ll know what I mean. These are people who have been trained to delay payment for as long as possible. Usually the person you have deal with is a complete idiot who just chucks your invoice into a pile and deals with it as and when he pleases. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering “How could the company hire somebody like this?”, wonder no more because this person has been hired specifically for his incompetence. His complete lack of urgency buys the company time, and helps with cashflow problems. Whenever you encounter a twit like this, you know it’s gonna take a while to get your cheque.

    carol

    There must be a “Book of Excuses for Douchebag Employers” out there judging by the amount of bullshit they are able to dish out. Passing the buck (to everyone but you), writing the wrong name on the cheque, not answering calls, disappearing altogether… anything just to avoid issuing your cheque. And by the time it’s ready (if you get it at all), chances are you would have been reduced to a decrepit heap living under a bridge, covered in flies, dying of AIDS.

    I hate it when other freelancers tell me they actually feel ashamed to ask for their money after asking so many times. Why should anyone be ashamed to ask for money that is due to them? There can be no excuses when you’ve done the work and it’s certainly not idealistic to expect clients to pay up when they owe you money.

    Cashflow? That’s your problem, not the employee’s.

    If you ask me, there should be a new form of discrimination against bad employers. These are the sort of people who deserve to be dragged behind a horse. Somebody call the KKK. Boss is the new Black.

    boss

    Meanwhile, in Australia…

    You can imagine how angry I was when my sister rang me this morning to tell me that she’d been fired from her job. She went into work and they just told her it “wasn’t working out” and gave her money in an envelope. Shocked, she went home, then later realised that it wasn’t even the full amount that was due to her. When she went back to confront the owner, he had left and they weren’t able to speak to him. They talked to the head of staff but nothing came of that. He had delayed giving her a contract, even though he’s required by law to do so. He was obviously aware of this because he had previously asked for all her details with the intention of giving her a contract, but when she turned up to sign it, gave her some excuses and told her he’d sort it out later.

    Why did he do that? Because he’s a douchebag, that’s why.

    The more important question you should ask is : what can be done?

    As I said, we must think of new forms of discrimination. If you must discriminate, discriminate against the common enemy: The Unscrupulous Employer. Think about it: everybody’s got to work, so this sort of thing is going to affect you sooner or later. By allowing bad bosses to get off scott free, you’re effectively setting yourself up to be screwed over.

    london

    london2

    So this is a shout out to those of you who are fond of drive-by shootings, looting, grievous bodily harm, and any other forms of violence or discrimination. The next time you feel like going bat crap crazy on gays, blacks, asians, mexicans or dwarves; think about how your acts could better benefit the masses if they were targeted at unscrupulous employers instead.

    And now that i’ve got your attention, here’s a really good place to start:

    thenakedturtle

    The Naked Turtle Cafe & Bar

    Shop 2, Shearwater Resort
    Kings Beach QLD
    Australia

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    havefun

    Happy Hunting