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POSKOD: Restoran Vargina

April 4, 2011 by June:Wow

Here’s my article on Restoran Vargina in Sentul:

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The Big Little Story Book

March 23, 2011 by June:Wow

I’ve put up a page for it here, so check it out!

I’ve also been writing for Poskod – it’s like a local knowledge sort of site but it also has news (local and international) and a bunch of other stuff, so who knows what they’re really about. What’s important is that they run my articles on Sentul twice a month so you should read those before you come over to visit. The pieces are all over the place as they’ve just migrated to a new site, but this one on gangfights and crime is the latest:

A few days after I wrote that, some guys dressed in police vests locked my neighbours in their house, broke into their race car and stole all the meters. It was very early in the morning, so by the time they were woken up by the alarm, the thieves were done and getting the hell out of there. I don’t know why they didn’t just take the whole car.

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It’s here!

March 7, 2011 by June:Wow

Look out for my new storybook on www.loyarburok.com which will be released this week!

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Christmas is (nearly) here!

December 8, 2010 by June:Wow

This is a photo of christmas dinner taken a few years ago when I was studying in England. It was a great party where we bought a ton of instant food, heated it up, and ate it with designer tableware (my housemate Samantha likes these things). There’s a lot of love at christmas, which is why I am a big fan of it.

Hopefully it’ll be just as much fun at this year’s party. If it’s fancy dress, i’m gonna go in the kimono that Ben bought me. That is, if I manage to get it altered and figure out how to wear it by then. I have emailed some people at the Japan Club to see if any of them are interested in teaching me, but they have not got back to me. You would think they’d be excited about sharing their culture with foreigners…

What’s on your wish list? Mine’s here in case you were wondering. I am particularly interested in the reindeer car kit and coincidentally, it’s also rather affordable …

This Christmas, I wish you love, happiness, peace, and hope for your sake that whoever in charge of the roast is good at basting.

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Gays v. Ministry of Merdeka

September 6, 2010 by June:Wow

The High Court at Kuala Lumpur today delivered judgment on this important case.

The Honourable Datuk McJudge: The Plaintiffs are a collective of gay activists. The Defendant is a department within the Government of Malaysia in charge of all things related to Merdeka Day (contests, parades, flags etc).

On 22nd April 2010, the Defendant declared that the 31st of August, which is Merdeka Day, would no longer be a public holiday. In an hour long press conference, Merdeka Minister Dato’ Homofo Bia Ken Kill said that the holiday was now only for heterosexuals.

In response, the Plaintiffs brought an action for damages. They alleged that the decision was so unfair and discriminatory that it had led to homosexuals all over Malaysia getting depressed and incurring huge expenses on alcohol and drug consumption.

Learned counsel for the Defendant submitted that such a decision was made after careful deliberation and study into the meaning of patriotism. He argued that the Ministry had decided that the definition of patriotism was “unqualified pride and love for one’s country”, therefore it was only fair that only truly patriotic citizens got the day off.

As a country that still retains a penal code from the colonial era criminalising gay sex, LGBT rights are not recognised in Malaysia. A subsection of the criminal code also provides additional punishment for persons convicted of, “gross indecency with another male person”. In addition to the secular law, Muslim citizens may also be charged in special Islamic courts. Punishments range from fines, long prison sentences to even corporal punishment. With this sort of discrimination, he submitted, it would not make sense for any gay person residing in Malaysia to be patriotic.

Submitting further on reasonableness, he argued that the test was not whether it was reasonable for the gay community to be deprived of a national holiday, but whether it was reasonable for any person to be gay in Malaysia in the first place, given the strict penalties and hassle involved. He cited examples such as the prosecution of Anwar Ibrahim, transsexuals being arrested for public indecency, and the People’s Anti-Homosexual Voluntary Movement.

At this point, I found that there was merit in this contention, and also that the air-conditioning was not working.

Anyway, counsel for the Plaintiffs was appalled by this and quoted Greek philosopher Socrates who said, “patriotism does not require one to agree with everything that his country does and would actually promote analytical questioning in a quest to make the country the best it possibly can be.”

“My Lord, who better to analytically question than those anally affected?” he said.

At this, counsel for the Defendant promptly stood up and said “My Lord, by his choice of words, my learned friend is making an ass of the law”

Ignoring him, the Plaintiffs’ counsel submitted that the very fact this action was being brought by gay activists proved that the gay community was greatly concerned with the progress and development of the nation, as such they could not be accused of being unpatriotic.

He further submitted that a definition for patriotism could not be determined by simple reference to a dictionary when such a decision involved depriving citizens of a holiday they had gotten used to over the years. He said, citing 981 case laws, such a sudden change could potentially lead to public disorder, which is something we obviously cannot afford to have in this country.

Instead, he argued, the Ministry should have looked further into the origins of the holiday. He submitted that Merdeka Day was a celebration of independence, stemming from pride and a refusal to take orders from a queen. These, he submitted, were values espoused by members of the gay community across the board, therefore they could not possibly be categorised as being unpatriotic.

Counsel concluded that the Plaintiffs should be allowed to succeed in this action because ultimately the Defendant’s decision would be pointless as most people would rather have the day off than admit to being gay. As such, if the Defendant won, it would be a tiny step for the government but a giant leap back into the closet for homosexuals.

I had intended to go on holiday, but as we are fast approaching Merdeka Day, I felt it would not be wise to leave this matter unclear. Accordingly, I find in favour of the Defendants. The Plaintiffs are advised not to bother appealing, to pay all costs, and to show up at work on the 31st.

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Dorothy got it right.

August 25, 2010 by June:Wow

In times of uncertainty, why not get some new shoes? The right shoes can transport you to exciting faraway places where you can hang out with cool people until you find your way back again.

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Roti with a rockstar

August 16, 2010 by June:Wow

“I don’t understand why women need to be friends with their exes, it’s over, so let it go”

He took a sip of his iced tea as if he was short of time and squinted his eyes as he sipped, not because of the sun but because sometimes cold beverages do that to you.

“They stick around because they obviously still have feelings for their exes, then they go on about the family and shit like that, then they fuck and they tell you they’re sorry but there’s a ‘special connection’ between them and their ex”

She listened to this, checking what he said with what she felt, almost simultaneously. Some of it made her think of what he must have been through, what he must have felt at the time, rather than whether she still cared about her ex.

“But I don’t have feelings for him, I have feelings for you”

She got up as she spoke and went to the counter to get some tissues. She was worried she had sauce from the noodles all over her face and that this would make him like her less, but mostly she was just a little embarassed.

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You are all full of shit and you should be ashamed of yourselves.

August 1, 2010 by June:Wow

At the end of Jom Ke Chow Kit! last night, four friends were dancing in a parking lot across the street to music that was still blaring from the carnival. It was raining, but that didn’t stop them. They boogey-d till it looked a bit too silly and then drove home.

Were you at the carnival?

If you weren’t, you missed out on beautiful fairy lights, good vibes, face painting, dancing people, great performances, and (more importantly) free sex enhancing merchandise from Durex. Confucius say, never pass up an opportunity to enhance free sex at no cost.

The carnival was endorsed by the Ministry of Health (who also had a booth there). It was designed to be educational and inspirational. Some of the carnival goers looked thrilled that something was going on apart from the usual shit in Chow Kit. They waited eagerly to have their faces painted, cheered whenever performers went on stage (one of the best audiences I’ve ever encountered), and made it a point to have fun despite the rain which refused to stop.

The police earlier contributed by arresting 40 carnival goers before the event even began. I don’t know why they were arrested, maybe the police wanted to arrest something other than their development for a change (oh, hang on. Maybe not.) but it does mean that the people who were arrested missed out on a lot of things.

It means that if they were sex workers who were unaware they had AIDS, they didn’t get to do a free screening, and are probably going to continue spreading it to their clients. That in turn means we’re all going to get AIDS sooner or later. A lovely prospect.

If they were hard core drug addicts, it means they missed out on a chance to learn about what the drugs are doing to them, where they can get help, etc. And that in turn means they’re just going to rot away, resorting to crime in times of desperation that will affect all of us.

If they weren’t doing anything other than simply just trying to have a good time to escape the confines of everyday life, then they were deprived of that as well.

Such behaviour by the police is not unusual, but its continued presence is unacceptable because it is clearly not a positive contribution to society. I’m sure a lot of effort was invested into putting together a carnival of that sort and it is sad that those who could have benefitted most from the carnival did not.

Remember this when you’re writing the next big report on why drug abuse, AIDS, depression etc is on the rise. Remember this on your way home to your beautiful suburb and your false sense of security. Remember this the next time you watch a bullshit ad (paid for by you) like this:

In life, there are those who are dealt cards that leave them at the mercy of others. It is the duty of a lover to help these people and not be fooled by haters masquerading as lovers.

If you’re not a lover, then you’re a hater. There is no middle ground. In a situation like this, apathy will only leave you vulnerable to hating when things fuck up in your own life and when that happens, you will be miserable, so I would urge you to be a lover because you owe it to yourself not to be miserable.

It continues to rain in Chow Kit everyday in more ways than one. I hope there comes a day where every one of us is able to go there, get wet and have fun without fear.

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Seamus McTan: The Bitch Pack – An Essay on the Behaviour of Bitches.

July 29, 2010 by June:Wow

I recently attended the wedding of an old friend from my time in Singapore. It was very beautiful, and I was fortunate enough to be able to spend time with her and another former classmate, both of whom I have not seen in years. Connections were made or remade, and plenty of good times were had. I also encountered, in her local friends, something I always thought only existed in stories: The Bitch Pack. The experience was strange enough that I had to collect my thoughts on paper; this is my attempt to understand the sociological phenomenon.

Here is the context: Sarah the bride hired a villa for two nights to house the bridal party, Linn the former classmate and myself. Since Linn’s and my attendance were somewhat unexpected and expensive, we were not expected to pay her back for the room. This was made clear to everyone. As non-members of the bridal party, Linn and I were left to our own devices and therefore spent the whole day being babysat by three of Sarah’s male coursemates, hitherto referred to as the Boys. It was in their hotel room that we were given this news. When requesting a ride back to the villa to get our things, we were refused on the grounds that boyfriends were in the car and thus there was no space. This proved to be false.

More revelations were made: a rumour had been spread about Linn supposedly flirting with a Boyfriend. Sarah had returned to the villa to find Linn’s and my personal belongings scattered about the apartment and packed it all up herself whilst wearing her dress in between her wedding and the reception. The next morning, when I managed to pack my things, I found part of my laptop charger in the dustbin.

Those were the events. Linn and I simply stayed over with the Boys, who were extremely hospitable and respectful.

These are some inferred characteristics: Each girl is pretty, well dressed and made up, owns a Boyfriend (generally taller, rich and either very nice or not really) and interacts with the bright, glassy smile of a shark. Poker faces are built and maintained with varying degrees of success. Openness is weakness. Enemies are kept as allies just in case. Each girl will tear the rest apart for what she wants, and she generally wants power.

What would motivate a group of young, beautiful and intelligent girls to behave so maliciously? On television, it is easy to write off the Fictional Bitch Pack because they’re just villains. In real life, it must be more complicated.

Some theories were posited. The Boys were specimens of that rare breed, straight males in performing arts schools. The existence of Boyfriends did not seem to preclude a peculiar vying for the attention of said Boys. Thus, the first theory was that we Stole Their Boys and thus incurred their wrath.
As for rumours, Linn is a natural and immediately recognizable threat – tall, blonde, leggy, beautiful and above all, Scandinavian. These attributes combined with her being smart and funny make her a natural target for male attentions.

Perhaps the girls were simply hurt that Sarah showered us with affection, or that Linn was asked to sing at the reception. Maybe they really, really wanted to pay 20 AUD less for their share of the room, because spending our money on airfare was not an excuse. However, the vehemence with which they strove to exclude us led me to believe that there was something deeper there. There is quite a disconnect between being hurt and disobeying a bride on her wedding day.

I did not spend enough time with these people to fully observe their group dynamics, but it was clear that there were some strict hierarchies being observed. This was not something I ever experienced growing up. It reminded me of a quote from Bones. In this instance, Temperance Brennan, forensic anthropologist, speaks to a group of nine-year-old pageant participants who have become part of a Bitch Hierarchy. She says, “So yours is a cultural structure predicated in the equation of beauty with power. You instinctively align yourselves with someone who holds the greatest potential for a societal supremacy. It’s a Darwinian pressure you’re too young to bear.”

I remember a social psychology professor telling us that although attractive people have it easier (in terms of getting jobs and the like) they do not eventually report higher levels of happiness.

I still don’t understand why anyone would put themselves in such a group. I don’t actually know them at all, but I did not trust them. Clearly Sarah couldn’t trust her own bridesmaids, so it seems fairly likely that they cannot trust each other. How then does anyone build any sort of meaningful relationship? I can only imagine that fighting to climb to the top of a mountain of people lands you on a lonely peak atop some very unstable foundations. If you’re constantly playing a game, you’ll always be on your guard.

And if it is indeed a game, what is the goal? I cannot imagine what they were actually trying to achieve last weekend. It just resulted in bad reputations, some level of inconvenience to my person and this article. Could it come from a prioritization of attention from males? If so such an attitude is degrading to themselves and women everywhere. Is it a prioritization of popularity or status within school? It seems to me that some perspective is required so that a gargantuan amount of potential is not being wasted from day to day.
So I haven’t come to any conclusions. These are just things I want to believe to be true.

If a Bitch Pack is subjugating you, remember that status and power are given and not only taken. When dealing with a Bitch Pack, be calm, polite and aloof. They can only affect you if you let them, and if they do any actual damage, you can probably take legal action of some sort.

If you are somehow attached to a Bitch Pack but are not actually a mean girl, leave. Find people who you can trust and find your strength from them. Just as butterflies are not love, fun is not friendship. In all likelihood, these people will not be there when you need them, and you do not need the approval of those of whom you do not approve.

If you are a Bitch in a Bitch Pack, consider the following. Do not let your crippling fear and insecurity force you to treat other human beings as if they are lesser creatures. They are not. It is terrifying to trust that if you let yourself be vulnerable to other people you will be okay, especially if you are used to betraying trust. But you will be okay. You may get hurt from time to time but you will get through it. If you allow yourself to trust others, you will become trustworthy and find the good, genuine people that do exist. Just have some faith.

Seamus McTan is more talented than you. She is also younger. Which makes you an even bigger loser, obviously.

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Good advice from a good friend

July 22, 2010 by June:Wow

[at a Samantha's fancy dress birthday: Gav as "Garbage Man" and me as "Hat Whore"]

Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your root was so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. that is just being in love, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Those that truly love have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms have fallen from their branches, they find that they are one tree and not two.

from: ‘Captain Corelli’s Mandolin’ by Louis de Bernieres

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