Did it really hit me so suddenly, or had I simply been putting up with it over a period of time? Who knows. What I do know, is that today I woke up and realised I had outgrown this space.

I know it’s not normal for a notice to announce emotions on top of needs, but I seek your indulgence while I do so, and promise to announce my needs more specifically after this. I really need to tell you how I feel about this whole space issue before anything else.

***

I acknowledge that my physical body has a home. It is thankful for the roof over its head, pleased with the aircon that keeps it cool on hot days and the duvet that keeps it warm when the aircon gets too much. It’s well-fed, and generally quite content.

But my SOUL is homeless.

The soul with which I create, feel, and express! It cries out for an alternative space. It longs for some version of the lush greenery in which it has had the good fortune to frollic, the type of quiet surroundings that only sometimes hear a car go by… It wants to live in a place where it has the option of not being subjected to things it does not care for, mainly in the form of unwelcome thoughts and beliefs – religious people through loudspeakers, handphone owners with loud voices and the in-call volume turned up too high, car owners desperate to prove that they own an exhaust pipe…

My heart wants to beat like the wings of the birds that rise from the lake to the trees, but my soul isn’t bothered with any of that shit. It just wants enough space to roam free, spend quiet time in, and make love fearlessly. It needs to feel these emotions, in order that it may express, and then CREATE!

***

Nietzsche said “Without art we would be nothing but foreground and live entirely in the spell of that perspective which makes what is closest at hand and most vulgar appear as if it were vast, and reality itself.”

And he’s right.

If I accept my current surroundings despite this morning’s epiphany, I know I will be desperately unhappy. I know I will effectively be crippling my creative processes.

So I need to find a new space. A new home.

Now you see why I needed to tell you all that? It helps put things into perspective, making this a more effective notice. If anything, I feel closer to you now that i’ve told you all that. I hope you feel the same, because if you do, you might be more inclined to help me.

Do you know/have a place that would suit my needs? I can pay rent. Not exorbitant rent, but I can pay rent. I keep a good home and i’m considerate. If you know somebody who can help, or somebody with options to offer, do contact me. Not only would you be doing me a huge favour (i’ll buy you coffee), you would also effectively be SAVING MY SOUL. How cool would that be?

So call me: 012 2034 290

Love,

June

I do lots of things.

This year, I did a lot of corporate writing, worked with UNICEF as a consultant, started a little events company, and taught sex ed to kids living on plantations. I worked with various companies, NGOs and individuals to bring different ideas to fruition, some of which (I sincerely hope) helped make a difference to people in need. Next year, I hope i’ll be doing other things. So when people ask me what I do, I always say i’m a “writer”, because it’s the most honest answer I can give in the shortest time. If you think about it, all the stuff I do requires some writing at some point (from emails, to reports, to articles, to scribbling my name on a contest form hoping to win a free trip to Honolulu etc.)

But this usually invites more questions, such as: “What do you write about?”, “Who do you write for?”, and the inevitable, “Are you a blogger?”.

[By the way, the standard answers to those questions are: 'Nonsense', 'Anyone who will pay me', and 'NO'.]

I think I spent quite a bit of time being bothered by not knowing what defined me, but i’m over it now.

People work their whole lives so that they can have business cards that spell out their role in society. I have known people who got angry with bosses who didn’t provide them with name cards. Maybe it’s a social tool, as i’ve noticed how people give out name cards as if it’s going out of fashion.

Back when I was doing my pupillage in a big corporate law firm, the other pupils would look forward to the end of pupillage because it meant having their own 8′ x 8′ office with their name in gold letters on the door, and name cards that told the world they were doing something important. As you progressed in the firm, you were upgraded to bigger rooms; and when you made partner, you got a room with windows or some sort of view, depending on seniority.

I remember naively asking my boss at the time why people worked hard so that they could be enslaved in a box for the rest of their lives. Working 10 years to get your own parking space and a room with a view just didn’t make sense to me. Unsurprisingly, I didn’t last very long in the corporate world.

Personally, I prefer to look into someone’s eyes, smile, and say “Hello, I’m June” before any exchange of name cards. It’s a warmer way, brings people closer, and makes them want to call you more. It also took a while for me to buy into the whole name-card-for-business idea, but I do have some now. They were designed by the gorgeous Lisa Zainuddin of Oxoloco <— click the link to check ‘em out!

Oliver’s philosophy
When faced with the question “What do you do for a living?” My good friend Oliver used to answer, “I skate, draw, and play for a living. And to make money I do other things.”

Similarly, I laugh, play, and fall in love every day. People will snigger and demand a “serious answer” when I tell them that, but I really don’t feel like I have a JOB because I really enjoy what I do. It doesn’t feel like work when you love what you do and have the freedom to do it from anywhere. I also do different things all the time, so it’s never dull. And as a result of the flexibility, I have more time to spend with friends and family, building strong bonds that money can’t buy. So, took me a while to explain, but that’s what I do, and I love it

I won’t tell you that the world matters nothing, or the world’s voice, or the voice of society. They matter a good deal. They matter far too much. But there are moments when one has to choose between living one’s own life, fully, entirely, completely—or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands. You have that moment now. Choose!
― Oscar Wilde

Freelancers have got it bad

The good companies aside (and i’m glad there are still some), it’s no secret that freelancers get screwed over day after day. Work is expected to be delivered on time, but payment is made whenever the client feels like it, no matter how much paperwork you prepare to compel them to pay you on time. This is especially the case with big corporations with a “finance department”. If you’ve ever had to deal with them, you’ll know what I mean. These are people who have been trained to delay payment for as long as possible. Usually the person you have deal with is a complete idiot who just chucks your invoice into a pile and deals with it as and when he pleases. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering “How could the company hire somebody like this?”, wonder no more because this person has been hired specifically for his incompetence. His complete lack of urgency buys the company time, and helps with cashflow problems. Whenever you encounter a twit like this, you know it’s gonna take a while to get your cheque.

There must be a “Book of Excuses for Douchebag Employers” out there judging by the amount of bullshit they are able to dish out. Passing the buck (to everyone but you), writing the wrong name on the cheque, not answering calls, disappearing altogether… anything just to avoid issuing your cheque. And by the time it’s ready (if you get it at all), chances are you would have been reduced to a decrepit heap living under a bridge, covered in flies, dying of AIDS.

I hate it when other freelancers tell me they actually feel ashamed to ask for their money after asking so many times. Why should anyone be ashamed to ask for money that is due to them? There can be no excuses when you’ve done the work and it’s certainly not idealistic to expect clients to pay up when they owe you money.

Cashflow? That’s your problem, not the employee’s.

If you ask me, there should be a new form of discrimination against bad employers. These are the sort of people who deserve to be dragged behind a horse. Somebody call the KKK. Boss is the new Black.

Meanwhile, in Australia…

You can imagine how angry I was when my sister rang me this morning to tell me that she’d been fired from her job. She went into work and they just told her it “wasn’t working out” and gave her money in an envelope. Shocked, she went home, then later realised that it wasn’t even the full amount that was due to her. When she went back to confront the owner, he had left and they weren’t able to speak to him. They talked to the head of staff but nothing came of that. He had delayed giving her a contract, even though he’s required by law to do so. He was obviously aware of this because he had previously asked for all her details with the intention of giving her a contract, but when she turned up to sign it, gave her some excuses and told her he’d sort it out later.

Why did he do that? Because he’s a douchebag, that’s why.

The more important question you should ask is : what can be done?

As I said, we must think of new forms of discrimination. If you must discriminate, discriminate against the common enemy: The Unscrupulous Employer. Think about it: everybody’s got to work, so this sort of thing is going to affect you sooner or later. By allowing bad bosses to get off scott free, you’re effectively setting yourself up to be screwed over.

So this is a shout out to those of you who are fond of drive-by shootings, looting, grievous bodily harm, and any other forms of violence or discrimination. The next time you feel like going bat crap crazy on gays, blacks, asians, mexicans or dwarves; think about how your acts could better benefit the masses if they were targeted at unscrupulous employers instead.

And now that i’ve got your attention, here’s a really good place to start:

The Naked Turtle Cafe & Bar

Shop 2, Shearwater Resort
Kings Beach QLD
Australia

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Happy Hunting

Does this look like public disorder to you?

There’s been a real kerfuffle over the recent launch of the Obedient Wives’ Club (“OWC”) in KL. OWC principles have been viewed as an insult to women around the world and women’s rights groups are pissed off.

If you think about it, this isn’t really news as women’s rights groups are almost always pissed off. They’ll probably be pissed off with me for saying so (and in that same breath talk about how women have the right to voice their opinions no matter what.)

Women’s rights groups like WAO and SIS think they’re the bees knees in the fight for rights, so when a new player like the OWC steps in and takes a different approach to things, they just get their knickers in a twist and dismiss those methods as demeaning to women, medievel and ultimately ineffective.

Reality check! The contributions made by women’s rights groups these days are at best pathetic when compared to groups championing the causes of men. Men don’t go whining to NGOs when they have grouses to air. They don’t need research papers or case studies. They just rap.

Notable advocates like Ludacris, Lil’ Jon, Usher, P-Diddy and Sisqo (remember him?) communicate what men want in the simplest of terms, reach huge audiences across the globe, have concrete methods to measure their effectiveness (2x Platinum enough for you?), and even win big awards for their contributions! Who can forget such impactful lyrics as:

“Move bitch, get out of the way”

“We want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed”

“Let me see that thong”

“I need a girl (to ride ride ride)”

“Lil Jon and the East side boys wit me and we all like to see ass and tities”

These songs are usually accompanied by a video which works like a public service announcement of sorts depicting an ideal world for men. And judging by the way they’ve been received by the male population, i’d say they’re a good representation of what men are expecting when they say those things.

In addition to alpha males with a lot of bling, hopping around looking badass, driving the flashiest cars, throwing parties at fabulous homes; the videos typically feature tons of women scantily clad in the latest designer trends, looking pretty damn pleased with themselves.

In fact, the messages are so powerful that women all over the world are seen dancing in clubs to these songs, showing their undying support for the cause in the same way straight people turn up at gay pride parades.

So until I see Sisters In Islam at the Grammys, i’d say it’s a bit rich of them to dismiss the OWC’s methods as ‘medieval’ or ‘demeaning to women’.

That said, it’s such a shame that the OWC got the theory down pat, but the practical all wrong.

Despite all the bad press, I had been rooting for the OWC until I saw the video of their club launch. To my shock and horror, instead of “Sensual Seduction”, the whole scene was more like “The Sound of Music”. There weren’t any bikini-clad females lying around or pole dancing to a laser lights display. None of the couples were making out or rubbing up against each other provocatively. Nobody was doing coke in the toilets. No fancy cars, no bull riding, and at one point, they even had little kids line dancing with the ladies on stage!

That’s no way to be obedient! Surely that goes directly against what men want!

There was this woman being interviewed who was going on about the thousand and one sexual positions she was going to teach her club members, and to tell you the truth, she could have been talking about salad spinners for all the impact it had on her audience.

How disappointing. If you ask me, until the Obedient Wives’ Club decides to have happy hour all day long, it’s not going to have much of an impact on the stats. In the absence of good leadership, women ought to wise up and take action independently. Get some plastic surgery, accept the fact that hips do not lie, and buy a thong or two. Otherwise, men will continue to visit prostitutes, and God will get mad at us.

But I think I may have found a solution: whenever I feel that way, I just write about something that happened recently, whether or not it’s relevant to my current state of mind. So for example, if i’m thinking about furniture, I might write about pangolins. This method has been extremely helpful at times when i’ve experienced writer’s block.

If you think about it, there’s always something to write about, because we’re alive. Even doing nothing is an experience in itself.

I sometimes think the part of my brain where the memory is stored is a bit like Photoshop or a layer cake because each memory can be divided into several layers or seen as a whole. So when I picture something, I remind myself to look beyond the surface and do the necessary prompting to get at each layer. The result is an enriched experience. Memory HD, if you like. And of course, something to write about. Whether it’s worth reading or not is another thing, but it gets you writing, and look, i’ve already done three paragraphs.

At a party last night, the birthday girl said “I can’t be 36. I haven’t done anything!”

To which I replied, “But it’s been a good life!”

She agreed, and began recalling the things she’d achieved, and the places she’d been to. By the time she was done, she discovered she had pretty much ticked off every childhood dream she had ever had: travel extensively, finish university, become a journalist, and marry the love of her life.

As we were ooh-ing and aah-ing, her husband came over, made a face, and gave her a kiss. That warmed my heart a bit, and I sipped my beer in an attempt to hide the gay look on my face.

I myself turned 26 last Tuesday.

As a child, I wanted to be an astronaut (I had a really cool poster of Neil Armstrong in space on my wall), a clown, and a riddle salesman (selling riddles by the roadside for 50 sen to people interested in a challenge or a laugh). In my teens, I wanted to be a writer, an actress, and (after watching Legally Blonde) attend Harvard Law School and become a lawyer.

In recent months, my ambitions have been: to travel the world, to write a book, to perform more, to learn something new every day, laugh all the time, sort my issues out, and figure out what I want to do with my life.

I am a firm believer that we should revise our list of ambitions every so often so that we don’t become bored/boring. That is not to say you should be a drifter (because they already have enough members), I just think it’s a good idea to constantly have new things to do/look forward to. It may make you depressed when you realise you will never really achieve all of your dreams, but it will also keep you going when you’re depressed over other things.

Try it yourself. I’m off to learn all about breastfeeding now (no kidding – as in, “not joking” and “no kid’).

Heard this song on the radio as I was driving home on my birthday. Thought it was a good example of an oldie but a goodie:

Sending Love to Sendai raised…. RM 6,191.00 !!!!

You can view the accounts here: click!

Me and Malaysian Red Crescent fundraising manager, Puan Suhana

Yay!

Thanks so much for coming and supporting the event! And thanks to everyone who helped out (too many to thank)!

Next project??

Please feel free to use this poster to promote the event. Help us spread the word!

Some updates since my last post:

1) Datuk Sheila Majid has shown her support for our event by donating an autographed box set that will be auctioned off at the event!

2) There will be a fun instant photo booth! Always wanted a photo with Nadia Heng on Mount Fuji? You’ll get your chance on the 15th!

3) The fantabulous John Ishii will be photographing the event! During the Asian Tsunami of 2004, John was holidaying in Thailand with his family when the Tsunami struck the beaches. Instead of running inland together with the crowd, he whipped out his camera and managed to capture the devastating effects of the Tsunami. John was the first person to showcase the photo story to the world!

*Update: Due to the never ending supply of awesomeness emanating from the kindness of people, we had to make some amendments to the poster, but here it is now, spread the love!

Date: 15th May 2011
Time: 5pm – 11pm (or come at 4 if you want to sumo wrestle more!)
Place: Pusat Rakyat Loyar Burok (MAP) Address: 3-4, 4th Floor, Jalan Bangsar Utama 3, Bangsar Utama, 59000 KL.
FREE ENTRY!!
Facebook Page for more info.

The long-awaited photo exhibition + concert “Sending Love to Sendai” is just around the corner! Check out the amazing stuff happening on that day!

PHOTOGRAPHY!

Colin Shafer’s photographs cover various parts of Japan, but the highlights of this collection are areas in Sendai that have been destroyed by the tsunami. The photos capture and immortalise the beauty of these areas. Ben Liew’s music photography captures the diverse indie music scene in Tokyo and the dedication shown by Japanese musicians. It provides brilliant insight into a specific section of Japanese society.  Faisal Ariff returned from Japan recently on the 17th of April. His stunning photos capture a resilient Japanese society, carrying on after the quake. Chitoo shares unique insights during his trip to Tokyo, and photojournalist Cheryl Hoffman captures little details of Japanese culture not to be missed.

At the exhibition, all these photos will be made available for sale and all proceeds from the sales will go to Japanese Red Cross Society.

MISS WORLD MALAYSIA 2010!

The event will be emcee-d by the gorgeous Miss World Malaysia 2010 Nadia Heng.

MUSIC!

Reza Salleh
Azmyl Yunor
The Rollin’ Sixers
Cats In Love
Ben’s Bitches
Special guest appearance by the excellent Tony Warren, the TOM JONES of Malaysia!

Sound professionals EHQ Projects are sponsoring the equipment and lighting for the event so you can be sure the sound quality will be awesome!

SUSHI!

Sushi Tei, one of Asia’s top Japanese Fine Cuisine chains will be catering the event and all proceeds from food sales will go to Red Cross as well. There will also be drinks (alcoholic and non-alcoholic) for sale.

FUN-FILLED ACTIVITIES!

1) LUCKY DRAW – Purchase prints and stand a chance to win INCREDIBLE prizes! These include: cases of Asahi Beer (24cans), bottles of sake, JUSCO cash vouchers, dining vouchers, CDs, t-shirts, assorted unique LoyarBurok merchandise and loads more!

2) Postcard & Haiku writing – Volunteers will be at hand to help you write messages to tsunami victims in Japanese. We also have specially designed postcards for the occasion – you’ll love them!

3) Video messages – Japanese interpreters will translate your video messages to Japan. These videos will then be uploaded to YouTube (almost in real time!) and shared with everyone in the known and unknown universe(s)!

4) Video games – We have a range of consoles in our arcade (from vintage to state of the art), so come over and play some old school Super Mario, Donkey Kong, or have a go on the Xbox Kinect!

5) Origami & Japanese Caligraphy – Less strenuous, just as fun! Our savvy volunteers will be at hand to show you how it’s done!

7) Costumes – the Japan Foundation has graciously loaned us some cool Japanese traditional costumes, and these will be modeled by various hotties at the event! You can also take a photo with them against our special Japanese backdrop!

8 ) Sumo wrestling – get in one of our inflatable sumo suits and take down your opponent!

So come join us, and have fun while supporting a good cause! This event is brought to you exclusively and inclusively by JuneWow Events and supported by the ONLY bLAWg .